Returning Home….

When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my new home became the quaint little town of Huntsville, UT.  We lived on the border of the small town of Eden and Huntsville, across from Hinkley’s Arabian Horse Farm…. now the Spring Creek Ranch.  It was such a lovely place to grow up.  I was a ragamuffin little girl with tangled hair and dirt on my face constantly.  I climbed trees, dug in the dirt, played in the ditch and made friends with all the outside creatures. For many years my dog “Critter” was my best pal.  We may have been considered poor growing up, but I would have never known that.  We lived in a little two bedroom, one bathroom farmhouse with hay fields surrounding us.  When I think back on those simple days, there are only fond memories….. Of course over the years I’ve found some childhood trauma that required my attention and healing but we’ll save that for another day and overall, my thoughts about childhood are very pleasant.  My brother and I created paths and secret forts in the huge lilac grove that lined the irrigation ditch just outside our home.  When days were hot, we would find an old food cooler for camping and turn it into a boat.  We would take turns giving each other rides down the wild waters of the Lofts ditch. I believe it was in these days my soul fell in love with being in the raw outdoors, in nature surrounded by my guardians and protectors, The Mountains.

….and now…. decades from those carefree childhood days as I have just stepped into my fiftieth year on this planet, I now return to Huntsville.  It is a courageous and poetic return and as T.S. Eliot put it…..

“We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.” 

This has become as much geographically true as metaphorically true.  Trent and I have moved to our beloved cabin, taking a pause of sorts from city living.  For me this is a new and curious adventure.  I’m fascinated and curious about how living off grid, on our own and much, much further to the grocery store than either of us have ever lived will affect us.  We have both lived in a big city for so many years that this is quite a different way of actually living.  Yet we have both yearned to wake to the sound of wind in the trees and birds calling to us to come outside every morning… and not just on the weekends.   We talked about it for years.  Our dream was to move to the country once again after our youngest graduated high school.  Funny thing about dreams, when you put enough attention and intention on them…. They come true.  We celebrated our youngest son’s graduation on a Wednesday, listed the house on the following day and accepted an offer the very next Monday.  It’s been a whirlwind of packing, moving, organizing and then re-organizing….. And the adventure is very much underway.  Trent will have his own goals and intentions for our time on the mountain…. But as for me, I intend on re-wilding myself!  Finding that little girl who dug in the dirt, climbed trees and swam in the ditch.  I intend on finding her…. Having long chats about the journey we have been on for the past fifty years.  I intend on befriending that little girl once more.  I intend on skipping down the road with her once more.  I intend to walk hand in hand, soul to soul… exploring that place where we both began and know it for the first time.  I intend to sit with her during the good memories and the memories that make us both squirm as they re-emerge from our history.  With her assistance, I intend to write about them, for both of us. I intend to keep her close to my heart and never let her go.  Then together, with her, I intend to dream up what comes next for us.   For as C.S. Lewis said…

“There are far, far better things ahead 

Than any we leave behind.” 


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