“The purpose of a relationship is to remember more of who we are… in relation to another.” -Bruce Schneider
What a wonderful night to get to know ourselves a little more. There is no better way of truly seeing each other than being in relationship and creating intimacy (in-to-me-see). Dawn Murphy created a beautiful intention with all of us who joined in our circle this month and we started by circling up and taking the hand of the person on our left, looking into their eyes and saying “I take your hand because I care.” Right from the start of this fabulous night, this activity started the connection that happens with intimacy. Dawn defined intimacy as making connections…. Then she split us into groups and had us ask the question of what we thought intimacy was. We also explored how to build intimacy, how to foster relationships and what causes relationships to break down and then shared together the highlights of our conversations. It was an amazing experience to get to listen and contribute thoughts to such a powerful topic. We also explored the idea of what it means to be Authentic or Real.
“Authenticity is simply telling the truth to yourself and others.” – Maya Angelou
Dawn was able to create real magic by letting us take some time and really look into each others eyes. This exercise was difficult at first but as we let down our walls and dropped into our hearts, we were able to experience the oneness of our partner and our group. It was so cool!!!
“Learn silence. And at least with your friends, with your lovers, with your family, with your fellow travelers, sit in silence sometimes. Don’t go on gossiping, don’t go on talking, not only on the outside – stop the inner talk. Be in an interval. Just sit, doing nothing, just being presences to each other, and soon you will start finding a new way to communicate…. Just looking… and both feel it silently. And see a communion happen – not only communication but a communion. Your hearts start beating in the same rhythm. You start feeling the same space. You start feeling the same joy. You start overlapping each other’s being. That is communion. You have said without saying anything and there will be no misunderstanding. – Osho
Dawn shared intimate details of her life story about growing up in a less than desirable family situation and feeling like she was a mistake throughout her childhood because her birth was not planned. Her teenage years were depressed and she often had suicidal thoughts. As her life progressed she started down the path to discover who she really was and found through some amazing experiences that there was “something bigger than her at work in her life.” She took responsibility for her life, chose to forgive herself and came to the powerful conclusion that no one did anything to her….. that she was now in charge of how to create her life. After nearly dying from a blood clot, life took on a whole new flavor for Dawn, as she grabbed a hold of the concept of gratitude. Dawn left us with some amazing quotes and encouraged us to always seek for what is authentic and real within us. With this final thought, I will leave you with one of the stories Dawn shared with us from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.
“ ‘What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’
‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
To contact Dawn Murphy, you can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org